20 years is a long time and the first 20 years of your life are the most vital.  They are when you learn how to talk, walk, socialize, when you go through Elementary, Middle, High school and even some of college.  A lot goes on in these first 20 years.  A lot of learning, loving, hurting, and many other emotions.  These are all normal and we learn from all of these.

I think the hardest thing for me to learn in my first 20 years of life, was how to let go, and what exactly to let go of.  In the moment, everything just seems right, like it is supposed to be.  You think you have it all figured out and then suddenly, your life takes a turn.  I cannot even tell you how many times I thought something or someone was right for me, and I was wrong.  But guess what, being wrong is OK! This is what helps us grow with strength and wisdom.

So, to make it easy for all of you, I compiled a list of 20 things you should be letting go of by the age of 20.  Take this list to heart, I really think if you implement these items into your life, you are really going to find yourself smiling a lot more, and worrying a lot less.

1. That high school boyfriend you keep breaking up with….and then getting back together again with, in an endless cycle, he needs to go.

Yes ladies, there is a reason why this is number 1 on my list.

I hope I don’t have to do much explaining here, but for the sake of those who need to hear it, honey, why are you doing this to yourself?  Is he really that worth it? If you guys have a great relationship and he really is worth it, then by all means stay with him, but if you have broken up more times than you can count on your hand, you need to let go.  It honestly is not healthy at all.  This is one of the biggest things to let go of before you turn 20.

2. Friends that don’t treat you like a friend, they need to go.

A friend should not make you feel bad about yourself, they should not talk badly about you, they should not ridicule you, they should be your support system, your advice giver, your rock.  If a friend is not being a friend, they gotta go.  You don’t deserve that.  Once you hit 20, you have way more important things to think about rather than who your real friends are.  Chances are, they’ll show their true colors by this point and you can move on with those who have been by your side and will continue to do so.

3. Any grudges you are holding from high school, they also need to go.

If you are still holding grudges from high school, please just move on with your life, that chapter is over.

4. Your childhood room, that needs to go.

This is one I am personally still working on.  I promise, I bought the paint to cover up my bright blue walls, I just haven’t gotten around to painting it…time to grow up Alicia…

5. You need to love yourself.

You cannot depend on others to love you constantly.  The only person you can guarantee will love you, is you.  Loving yourself is such an important quality that everyone should embrace.  Embrace every flaw, every perfection, everything about yourself. You deserve to be loved.

6. Being best friends with your mom is ok.

You are not lame for wanting to hang out with your mom.  Honestly, I would much rather hang out with my mom than half of the fake people I have come across in my life.  Our mutual love for wine and Panera definitely makes it a little easier though!

7. It is ok to feel sad sometimes.

Feeling sad is normal.  If you are happy 100% of the time, you are either faking it or have no emotions, which lets face it, everyone has emotions. Feeling sad is normal, it’s actually healthy to feel sad sometimes.  Sometimes, you just need a good cry, it can make all of the difference.

8. Mental Illness is normal, and you should not make fun of people for it.

Mental Illnesses are serious.  They are something I have dealt with for years.  Somedays are easier than others, but I can tell you what does not make it easier…people talking about you having a mental illness.  Mind your own business because believe it or not, this is a really serious issue that millions of people have to cope with on a daily basis.

9. Stop having stupid fights with your siblings.

It is time to be adults, so please stop fighting over who gets to watch their TV show at your parent’s house and just compromise.

10. Stop talking about how much money you have or don’t have.

Some people actually don’t want to talk about their finances or hear you make comments on it.  If you are not seeing the numbers, you have no right to talk about how much money someone has or doesn’t have.

11. If you haven’t already, start doing things for your future.

Internships, jobs, volunteering, if you haven’t started by 20, you’re behind on the ball.  Most students start the second they get into college.  You need to build your resume, so if you have not started, start now.

12. Blacking out every night really isn’t cool.

If you are getting belligerently drunk more than like once a week, please rethink what you are doing at this point in your life.  There is nothing wrong with drinking socially, but if you are reaching alcoholic tendencies, please do something about it.  Just because you are in college you are not exempt from the definition of an alcoholic, stay classy kids.

13. You will never stop learning.

Embrace the fact that you are constantly learning.  Learning is a good thing.  You will not find success unless you learn from others, especially those who may be more knowledgable.  Embrace constructive criticism, it will make you better.  Don’t get offended if and when someone tells you to do something different.  Take the advice and run with it.

14. It is ok to be alone.

No need to rush into the rest of your life.  It is perfectly ok to be single, learn to love yourself, cherish yourself, spoil yourself, and just worry about yourself.  Being single is good, and no one will be able to love you if you don’t love yourself.

15. Love the little things.

If you are constantly waiting for big life events to make you happy, you won’t be happy very often.  Love and cherish the little things, you will find yourself happy on a daily basis.

16. It’s ok to still be a little confused.

You are still young.  You don’t have to have it all figured out.  You still have plenty of time to figure out where you want to be in life, what you want to do, who you want to live your life with, where you want to live.  You have a lot of options, take time to decide what is perfect for you.

17. Get organized.

This is a good habit to get into, one that I am still working on.  Getting organized will help you in your later years, time to start working on it!

18. Put aside time for those who put aside time for you.

It is only fair.  True friends will put aside time for you, do the same for them.  If they do not put aside time for you, you are simply not expected to do the same.

19. Stop settling.  

You are amazing and deserve the best.  Wait for the best.  Don’t just take anything that comes along, especially if it doesn’t feel right.  Stop settling and wait for what you want.  Be patient.

20. Start Living.

This is your life and you only get one, start enjoying it.  Stop sweating the small stuff and stressing yourself out when it is not worth it.  Embrace the life you are given and go out and love it!

There you have it, 20 things you should realize by your 20’s!  It is time to implement these things into your life if you have not already.  Love your life and live it!

and never forget, positive vibes only!